Setting: Jen and I are attending the BlogHer '12 conference in New York. I just purchased dresses for the after parties and I'm modeling them for my husband.
Me: Ok babe, here we go. I call this one "Nighttime Conference Chic."
Husband: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That is WAY too sexy.
Me: Is that a good thing, or ... I'm confused.
Husband: Um, no. You're going to New York without me looking hot. It's a very bad thing.
Me: I bought this dress from Express, not a Passion Party, take it easy.
Husband: Ok, well, you look great, but I don't like it.
Me: This is a weird mix of the reaction I was going for mixed with the opposite reaction I was going for ...
Husband: Well, where are you going all dressed up like that? Will you be safe?
Me: Honey, I'm not going to stripper tryouts. I'm going to a huge conference with all women. The after parties are mostly in the area or in the hotel. We'll be fine.
Unless we make some really cool and rebellious blogging friends and decide to ditch the parties for a wild New York adventure.
Or, if a bunch of really charismatic lesbians want to show us a good time. Barring those two things, we'll be safe.
Husband: So, you rack up our credit card to look good for other women, but feel no need to look this good for me?
Me: Excuse me, sir. I look good for you.
Husband: Running shorts in an oversized t-shirt with no bra is the opposite of what you got going on right now.
Me: That's what I wear to bed. Hardly a reasonable comparison.
Husband: *raises eyebrow*
Me: Maybe I wear that drinking my morning coffee. What of it?
Husband: *still raising eyebrow*
Me: Ok, sometimes I get wrapped up in my work and don't get a bra on before noon. I'm building a HooHa empire, ok? I'm struggling to see your point.
Husband: I haven't seen you like this for awhile, is all. I'd like to see it more often.
Me: Umm, this dress isn't appropriate for lounging around watching Wipeout. Anyway, you're slowing me down. I got another dress, it's my favorite and I bought new panties to go with it. I'll be right back!
Husband: Uh, I'm sorry - who will be seeing your panties?
Me: Just because they're matching doesn't mean I'm flashing! Now relax, I'll be right out!!
Husband: Wait, how much did you spend??
Me: Hmmm?