I am programmed to loathe bugs entirely. The flying kind, even more so. The flying wannabe, beautiful butterfly kind, the most.

We entertained friends for dinner last night and when 9pm rolled around and every. last. one. of us was shoving toothpicks into our eyelids, because, “When the hell did we get sooooooo oooooooold?!”, it was time to bid our guests a sweet farewell.

Dead bolt, undone. Door, unlocked. Hugs, distributed. Knucks, pounded. Then, right then, it happened…

The Mother Hunter via @hahasforhoohas

What appeared to be something Bastian Balthazar Bux would be clinging to for dear life in 1984...

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All we have to say is that HooHas reader, Ronnie Applewhite, gets us. So much it hurts. In that stabbed and bleeding nacho cheese out your person sort of way. 

We triple dog dare you not to laugh-cry! 

"Two Chips" / An Animated Short from Adam Patch on Vimeo.

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My husband and I had just settled to sleep, laying on our backs - when suddenly a wicked sneeze overcame me.

Husband: Bless you, babe.

Me: Phew, thank you. That came out of nowhere - it was intense.

Husband: OH MY GOD, ANNA - ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Me: What? What'd I do?

Husband:  Your freaking spit mist is falling all over me! *frantically flapping his arms* Ugh, it went in my eyes!

Me:  Oh, please! Why are your eyes open, in the dark, while we're sleeping?

Husband: Your thunder sneeze caused me to open them in alarm, thanks. Why didn't you cover your mouth?

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It was that glorious moment in the tiny, dark ultrasound room with four adults repeatedly apologizing for breathing on each others' necks, staring at what looked like a weird, mutant alien on a 10-inch screen. The one professional in the room piped in to tell us that in just a few short months, we'd be welcoming a baby boy. 

Jess' Five Helpful Ways To Tell You've Had A Boy Child via @hahasforhoohas

As far as I could tell, the arrow she'd drawn on the screen looked like it was...

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Submitted by Bethany W.

Do your kids say outrageous things? Of course they do.

Submit your conversations HERE for a chance to be featured on HooHas!

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