Relationships

​

​

My wife loves the HGTV Network. It stands for Home and Garden Television, and in our one TV household, there is nothing more deflating for me than walking into the living room on a Friday night, all set to cuddle up with the Mrs. while watching an On Demand movie and see that I am too late.

Well, it’s official. The plastic surgery phenomenon has arrived in our neighborhood. It really shouldn’t have come as such a surprise. As a group we’ve all talked about what we would have done if we could afford it. I even entered myself into one of those massive make-over shows. I purposely wore my horrible, pink muumuu for the extra horror factor. I never heard back. At first, I took this as a good sign. Apparently my problems weren’t severe enough to warrant a televised make-over event. Then I began to worry. Maybe my problems were so serious that the show wrote me off as a lost cause.

I am programmed to loathe bugs entirely. The flying kind, even more so. The flying wannabe, beautiful butterfly kind, the most.

We entertained friends for dinner last night and when 9pm rolled around and every. last. one. of us was shoving toothpicks into our eyelids, because, “When the hell did we get sooooooo oooooooold?!”, it was time to bid our guests a sweet farewell.

Dead bolt, undone. Door, unlocked. Hugs, distributed. Knucks, pounded. Then, right then, it happened…

What appeared to be something Bastian Balthazar Bux would be clinging to for dear life in 1984...

The other day we read a post on Babble.com titled Top 10 Things Mothers Do Better Than Fathers.  

This was an email I recently received from one of the forty five online dating sites I subscribe to: “Your dating profile has been viewed 2861 times.” Seriously now, this was supposed to make me feel good??? Knowing that out of 2861 men who looked at my profile, only two found me reasonably attractive enough to “wink”? Knowing that I was an obvious disappointment to the other 2859 viewers? It’s no wonder that my confidence is at an all time low. 

Is it hot in here or is it just your saucy boudoir photos you plan on giving your lover for Valentine's Day?

Looking for some ways to keep the romance on and poppin' for Valentine's Day?

Look no further, the HooHas have compiled a top 5 list of our favorite sexy tips!

1)  Wear a Hoodie Footie - it's Purrrrrfect. Bored of that tired old lingerie from Victoria Secret?  We don't blame you.  Men are very visual, so give them as much eye candy as humanly (or should I say leopardy) possible on this Saints Day of Love.

Me:   We need to readdress our rules for farting in front of each other.   At the end of the day, I still need to find you attractive.

Husband:   Oh yeah?  This coming from the girl who laughed last time.