ADT: Accelerated Drama Time

Drama runs high here, you might know that by now. Rarely does it drop, but every so often, it'll suddenly spike with no warning.

It might be over a hemorrhoid, an ill-wired hot tub, or maybe we accidentally brought the church mouse home with us in a duffel bag.

That particular incident led to my relationship with my good friend, Mark from Orkin. He visits me every 3 months, unless I see a mouse, a centipede, a flea, a know, any emergency that needs an extra visit. Mark from Orkin is so familiar with our house, that on his most recent visit last month, he found me in my office to compliment our home improvements he noticed.

"Um, Mark from Orkin? Thanks, but remember that time 10 minutes ago when I told you I saw a mouse in my closet? Where we at with that?" He left with mouse in hand an hour later. Yeah. Mark from Orkin is my super good friend.

Now I have another new super good friend. His name is Scott from ADT.

You see, a few months ago, in the short span of time between me leaving our house, and my daughters arriving home from school, an unmarked white van backed into our driveway and a man carrying a clipboard was roaming around our barn. Our 17 year old proceeded to break every family safety rule in the book by having a conversation with the man, believing his story of surveying our yard for a landscaping company that, as it turns out, doesn't exist, and trusting him when he said, "Don’t worry, I'm supposed to be here" cuz, you know, clipboard.

We obviously need to discuss the instant credibility of a guy based solely on a clipboard. And more specifically, why. And also, no. Thankfully, a few minutes later, our daughter-in-law arrived and the guy panicked and left.

So then I got home, they told me what happened, and drama spiked. Meaning, all hell and that breaking loose thing.

Two days later, I was following Scott from ADT around our house as he installed door and window sensors, motion detectors, spotlights, and cameras, and made some friendly small-talk...asked him how long he's been with the company, nonchalantly wondered if ADT installation would maybe be a primo job for a criminal to apply know, keepin' it casual. He finally stopped and said, "So, I'm just curious. Did something bad happen here recently?"

"Well, now that you mention it, yes. A mouse was in my closet and a van was in our driveway...guy had a clipboard...I can't really talk about it."

Scott from ADT and Mark from Orkin make a lot of the same facial expressions at me. Weird.

I'm happy to report that the spike is behind us and we've returned to our normal levels of over-the-top drama.

As it turns out, a lot of responsibility comes with having an automated connection to law enforcement. Yeah, I was surprised by that, too.

Like, hypothetically, let’s say my husband was playing Call Of Duty and our grandson pushed the power button and shut the game down. If my husband were to then take off running outside to the garage to get black electrical tape to cover the button, forget to deactivate the system before he opened the door, didn’t hear the alarm and missed the 30 second window to push the code because he still had his giant Call Of Duty headphones on over his ears, see, that would be bad.

So let's all just make sure that never happens. Again.