There are terrible things that can happen to a mother during the day, but most are easy solutions.
Did your baby crap on you? No biggie! Just brush it off. Literally. Uh oh! Timmy spilled milk on brother's head? Give him a baby wipe to dab it up. And tell him to quit freaking crying.
But there are certain things that will send a mother in a frenzy of desperation.
One of those things is your child falling asleep BEFORE nap time.
For those of you who think I'm crazy, take a peak inside my world.
Scene: Driving home from the park, 45 minutes before nap time and sweet baby boy begins to get drowsy so I try and talk to him. As I glance in the rearview to check on him, I notice he's drifting off and I kick it into high gear.
First, I turn the music up and put on his favorite song. Crap!! It's not working!
Frantic, I open the car window and blast him with cold air. He's like the freaking honey badger and doesn't care!
I shake his leg, "J! J! Wake up! Don't ruin your nap time for me! Do you hear me?! Mommy neeeeeeeeds you to stay awake!"
In a moment of pure desperation, I grab my spray bottle I have randomly in the car and begin to squirt him in the leg. And then the hand. And then the face. (It's a gentle mist so ease up, people!)
But all I see is this:
When we return home, 2 minutes after baby boy falls asleep, I gently carry him inside to his crib and tip toe out of his room.
9 times out of 10 he wakes up like he just had the best power nap of his life and as if I had been spraying him with 5 hour energy. (It was water, geesh, quit judging guys!)
Does baby boy want to go back to sleep? Oh heck no. That boy is ready to party.
It's like a waterfall affect, really. Falling asleep before said nap time leads to no nap during actual nap time resulting in a cranky mom who just wanted an hour or so to herself to
waste time on Pinterest and probably get jealous of her friends who didn't invite her places on Facebook breathe and eat lunch in peace and quiet.
Next time you're driving and see a mom waving her hands desperately in the air or finding toys (soft and cushy, people) to chuck at her kids who are about to doze off, remember that they are just trying to avert a nap time disaster.
And then help a sister out and blow an airhorn or something as you drive away. Remember the old adage: If mama doesn't get her nap time, you'll probably find her in the locked bathroom, scrolling through Instagram and crying while her children try to knock the door down.
Take away: Carry a spray bottle in your car so you can squirt your children if they are dozing off, acting naughty or if you're bored at a stoplight.
Also, Raisinets are good for throwing.