Anybody who claims to love Spring Break is either a student, a teacher, or a bartender in Panama City. But on behalf of moms everywhere, someone needs to explain to them why Spring Break sucks.
Kudos to you Floridians, Californians, and Texans, who can count on warm pleasant weather in March, but about those unfortunate souls who accidentally landed in Minnesota, New Jersey, or heaven forbid, Ohio? Chances are, our kids are gonna be crawling up our a**es for 7 straight days, 11 counting the weekends.
Oh, there’s none of that here this week. Refer back to weather.
Not to be confused with Day 1, which is totally new and exciting, because you spent the morning doing crafty things and the afternoon at the library.
No. Day 2 is when all hell breaks loose and everyone decides they wanna kill each other.
Whyyyyyy, pray tell, this soon after Christmas break and this close to Summer break are we taking another damn break?
Are we supposed to use up a week’s worth of vacation days to stay home? No. Why? Because Spring Break at home with kids is not a vacation, that’s why!
Everything we’ve worked so hard for since January…an organized house, clean laundry, a workout schedule, daytime television, the secret stash of snacks…Poof. Gone.
These tiny people have now been trained to wake up at 6am and eat lunch at 10am. Listen up. I’m not even supposed to be out of bed yet, so zip it with the corn dog talk!
Um, excuse me, but that beautiful yellow bus that stops at the end of my driveway is what makes paying taxes worth it. I demand a bigger refund.
Crafts suck. They suck worse with kids. And let’s be honest, even kids can only jump on a trampoline for so many days in a row before they start asking to get down and come back inside. Then what? No, seriously. THEN WHAT?!?!?
Inside voices do not exist on Spring Break.
Just one more question. Who in the hell decided to schedule Spring Break over Daylight Savings weekend?
Granted, there are those freaks who opt to pay the exorbitant prices to head to Disney World that week…speaking of lack of sleep, no personal space, excessive noise, and kids up your a** 24/7, made even less appealing by the 20 hour car ride to get there…yeah, forget that. I’ll hate Spring Break from the comfort of my own home, thanks.
Image credit George Hodan