Upgrade, My (as)S
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For 2 years I cursed her name, but became completely enamored with the phone that housed her. That is until my beloved phone began screwing with me.
I'm sure you can relate when I tell you that the majority of my life was in that phone. Everyone I know, both personally and professionally, have my iPhone to thank (or blame) that I'm able to call or text them, because they're in my contacts list. All of my massage clientele, as well as the schedule of their appointments, was in my calendar. Every Zumba song I've ever known, and the separate playlists for each of the locations I teach, were under my music app. And every thought, brainstorm, quote, and idea were listed in my notes for future writing projects.
So when that phone took on a mind of its own, began rearranging my playlists, blanking out my schedules, and randomly shutting down to "update" itself, I expect to be able to go to Verizon and trust that Tristan with the clipboard won't wipe away my entire identity and cancel my very existence on this earth.
One should never be so trusting. And one should never put herself into the hands of a salesman with a clipboard on the heels of half-price margaritas at Texas Roadhouse.
His first question seemed simple enough as he pointed to my 4S.
That's when he lowered the boom with his offer to buy back my phone for $200, in exchange for upgrading me to the iPhone 5S. The part of my brain that hadn't been impaired by margaritas smelled a trap, but before it could speak up, a voice said, "OK!" Enter Ron, loving husband and designated driver.
Twenty minutes later, it was all said and done. My 4S sat on the counter, wiped clean of my entire life, and I walked out of Verizon the pissed off owner of a "new and improved" iPhone 5S, which required the purchase of an all new phone cover, wall charger and car charger, but was fully loaded with everything…that is, everything except my schedule, my notes, my Zumba songs, and my playlists-- for a grand total of $197.00. As an added bonus, my new phone didn't fit my Zumba speakers and I had to buy a $30 converter.
Now. I'm no math wiz, but by my calculation, Tristan with the clipboard owed me $27.00, 118 Zumba songs, 47 story ideas, my professional reputation for having to call all of my massage clients asking if they had any appointments scheduled, the countless hours of my life it took to clean up this mess, and I’ll take his ass on a stick while I’m at it.
Bottom line; I was stuck with the new S and I wanted nothing more than to go back to Verizon and kick his.
So last spring, when I upgraded to the S6 and the salesman pointed to my S5 and asked, "Is that cracked or broken?" my answer was simple.

Shari Courter has been married to her high school sweetheart for 23 years. They have 4 children, 1 daughter-in-law, 1 son-in-law, 1 grandson and 1 granddaughter. She's a Licensed Massage Therapist, Zumba instructor, freelance writer, blogger and published author with stories in 5 of the Not Your Mother's Books anthology series. You can follow Shari on Facebook or at Close Courters Blog where she's known for openly sharing her family's many (mis)adventures. Be prepared to hear the good, the bad and the holy crap.
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