Looking back at my time as a teacher, I realized I was a freak with superhuman powers. Let me explain...
1. I could melt children brains with the lasers that shot out of my eyes.
"Teacher, Billy stole my pen."
<laser eyes by me>
"Okay, okay! It was me that stole Billy's pen and I'm so sorry! Just stop melting my brain with your eyes!"
2. I could be on "Hoarders."
Me: "Are you going to throw away those old tuna cans?"
Someone sane: "Uh, yeah? Why?"
Me: "Just wondering if I could have them in case we decide to use them in an obscure class project."
3. Teachers have a built in app when it comes to finding the best happy hour and free appetizers.
Next time you're at happy hour on a Friday, check out how many teachers are there donning their school t-shirt. Teachers love 3 things, Fridays, summer and happy hour.
4. I would have given half my paycheck to wear jeans everyday, not just Fridays.
Biz Caz Fri (Business Casual Friday) has a whole new meaning for a teacher after a long week of chasing students in high heels and uncomfortable pants. I would have worn Pajama Jeans if they would have been available. Fridays, Pajama Jeans AND Happy Hour? I might explode with jubilation.
5. I prayed for bad weather days or for certain students to be absent.
(C'mon, you know you have too...)
A quick note for teachers, NEVER, and I mean NEVER EVER EVER!! pray for patience, because Lord knows you're going to get a new student. A student who will be your wild stallion and test the patience you just prayed for. As a mom, I pray for patience and I get a 2 year old who pees on the floor while simultaneously melts down
Teachers, Moms, Wives, Females, Dudes what else can you add to the list?
Jen Hembree Co-Founded HaHas for HooHas.
Learn more about Jen in the About Us.