Teachers Are Awesome Freaks?

Looking back at my time as a teacher,  I realized I was a freak with superhuman powers. Let me explain...

1. I could melt children brains with the lasers that shot out of my eyes.

Seriously. It's a gift that only teachers, moms and wives have and sweet love, it's amazing.

"Teacher, Billy stole my pen."
<laser eyes by me>
"Okay, okay! It was me that stole Billy's pen and I'm so sorry! Just stop melting my brain with your eyes!"

2. I could be on "Hoarders."

I have acquired so much teacher crap that I could do crafts for years and never run out of scraps or glitter. It's that bad, people.

Me: "Are you going to throw away those old tuna cans?"
Someone sane: "Uh, yeah? Why?"
Me: "Just wondering if I could have them in case we decide to use them in an obscure class project."

3. Teachers have a built in app when it comes to finding the best happy hour and free appetizers.

It's one benefit that offsets crappy pay.

Next time you're at happy hour on a Friday, check out how many teachers are there donning their school t-shirt.  Teachers love 3 things, Fridays, summer and happy hour.

4. I would have given half my paycheck to wear jeans everyday, not just Fridays.

Biz Caz Fri (Business Casual Friday) has a whole new meaning for a teacher after a long week of chasing students in high heels and uncomfortable pants.  I would have worn Pajama Jeans if they would have been available.  Fridays, Pajama Jeans AND Happy Hour?  I might explode with jubilation.

5. I prayed for bad weather days or for certain students to be absent.

(C'mon, you know you have too...)

A quick note for teachers, NEVER, and I mean NEVER EVER EVER!!  pray for patience, because Lord knows you're going to get a new student.  A student who will be your wild stallion and test the patience you just prayed for.  As a mom, I pray for patience and I get a 2 year old who pees on the floor while simultaneously melts down

Teachers, Moms, Wives, Females, Dudes what else can you add to the list?  

Jen Hembree Co-Founded HaHas for HooHas.
Learn more about Jen in the About Us.