Suprise, Surprise

I was completely convinced as a first time mom, not only would I make it to my due date - Lucy would just keep chillin' past my due date.

So, I took on an extra project with a fierce deadline and lazily did my Christmas shopping. I had plenty of time.

Well, surprise, freakin' surprise.

If you've been wondering why HooHas has been so quiet for a few days, well, I have timeline to help answer that question.

Tuesday, 7:50 AM: I get up to go the bathroom. I have to go so bad, it hurts. Mostly because I have a baby using it as a hammock. Nothing new there. Then, as I'm walking down the hall, I pee my pants.

Tuesday, 7:55 AM: Totally embarrassed (no one told me a pregnancy symptom was completely emptying your bladder in your Christmas maternity pajama pants), I put everything in the wash to destroy the evidence. Then it dawned on me: Holy crap, what if my water broke?

Tuesday, 8:10 AM: Called my OB's after/before hours hotline. Told on-call nurse I'm pretty sure I peed my pants, but thought I'd just throw it out there to her in case she thought it might have been my water. Her tone told me she thought it was "cute" I assumed I peed my pants. She told me to go to the hospital immediately.

Tuesday, 8:11 AM: I asked on-call nurse if I had time to wash my hair before going to the hospital (really, it was a rat's nest up there). She laughed, but in an irritated way and said no.

Tuesday, 8:45 AM: I'm at the hospital and I'm indeed going into labor with a rat's nest posing as a high bun.

Tuesday, 11:00 AM: Rob and I walk around to get the party started. I'm wearing my brand new L.L. Bean robe I bought for just an occasion and feeling real high brow. I begin some bizarre hip maneuver (self-taught) to get the baby to hurry the hell up.

Tuesday, 5:00 PM: Sh*t gets real. Epidurals for everyone!

Tuesday, 5:10 PM: I'm cracking jokes, eating ice and make my nurse look up HaHas for HooHas on the computer in my delivery room. Then I say, "Like my page too. Go ahead, I'll wait."

Tuesday, 7:00 PM: My doctor arrives and I'm ready to push. After a few rounds, the nurse casually tells my sister that as a first time mom it could take 1 to 3 hours. I panic (3 hours of that crap?!) and start pushing like Hercules.

Tuesday, 7:45 PM: Lucy is born. I've broken every blood vessel in my face trying to get that insanity under an hour. She enters the world with her eyes open and looks at my mom, sister and of course my husband with a "Am I hallucinating? Who are you people?!" look on her face. Then she lays on my chest and we cry.

Tuesday, 7:46 PM: My life changes forever. I'm so in love it hurts.


There's plenty more to share - full birth story to come. When I can manage to get more than 30 minutes sleep at a time, that is.