Well, it's official.
Someone stole my fart story. That's right. HooHas had their very first copyright violation. And they copied, alright. Word for word. Then slapped it on their website and acted real casual about it like it's all good if we share or something.
As a large rapper I forget the name of once said, "Mo' Traffic, Mo' Problems."
Is this what success feels like? If so, it feels warm. Like rage.
I found it by some freak accident and it was hard to believe someone could be so brazen as to copy my work without any attribution or link whatsoever. In addition, he, of course, added the image from collegehumor.com to add some spice to his post.
Oh, I see. Steal my crap then add an image I wish I would have used.
Rude, dude. Real rude.
I immediately called my lawyer and told him to move forward with a multi-million dollar lawsuit. He had my approval and I just wanted to be kept abreast on the financial proceedings.
Apparently, for reasons I didn't really understand, that wasn't the best course of action. However, he did offer to write a really scary cease and desist letter. Sounds good. Until he told me his fee.
Nevermind, I'll google it.
Luckily, I found the tools I needed and went about the business of writing my official "guess what sucka, I caught you stealing my crap and it's about to get real" letter.
Soon, after typing it, I realized something ...
I'm writing an official legal notice concerning a copyright violation of my horrendous fart story. I'm not even taking myself seriously.
After no response, the next legal step was to contact the website host, who must, by law, take the the violating post down immediately after validating my claims.
They were extremely helpful, but that's when it got extra awkward ...
Host: "What is the name of the work stolen?"
Anna: "Um," clears throat, "the fffff that almost altered my destiny."
Host: "I'm sorry, what was that?"
Anna: "The, um, ffffrt that almost altered my destiny."
Host: "I'm sorry, I'm not catching it - the what that almost altered my destiny?"
Anna: "The fart."
Host: "The fart?"
Anna: "Yes, the fart. F-A-R-T."
Host: "The fart that altered my destiny?"
Host: "Almost fart?"
Anna: "No, it's the FART that ALMOST altered my destiny."
Host: "Um, ok then," awkward pause, "and what is the date this was published?"
Blah, blah, blah, the point is - it was awkward.
How can I talk legalese about a post about farts? The short answer - you can't. The long answer - I had no choice. This is America, damn it. I protect what's mine at all costs.
Well, you'll be happy to know the web host validated my claims and took his post down immediately. Then I emailed Jenny to share the news.
Anna Lind Thomas is the Founder/Head Writer & Designer at HaHas for HooHas. Learn more about Anna in the About Us.