MODESTO, CA - 

A riot broke out at a local polling station in Modesto, CA this morning after voters were told the location was “fresh out” of “I Voted” stickers. Security guards intervened and limited the damage to broken booth curtains and a demolished coffee station. Two people were arrested. 

Polling volunteer, Barbara McGregor, 73, said a voter nearly gave her 15 paper cuts when he threw a stack of ballots at her face. “I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years. We knew we were low on stickers and people would be disappointed, but good grief!” McGregor's injuries were treated with tiny Band-Aids on site by paramedics.

Sara Michaels, one of the voters who admits to being upset, but denies causing any actual damage to the polling station, said it’s barely worth voting if you don’t get the sticker. “Isn’t a huge appeal to voting is so you can post a selfie with the sticker and put it on Facebook?” said Michaels. “This damn place wasted my time!”

County official, James Haddock said when they received the shipment of stickers, a majority of them had been damaged due to flooding. “No one expected this much blow back. We had no idea Facebook sticker selfies were this important to people. God help us.”

The two arrested rioting suspects are now awaiting possible charges.

Anna Lind Thomas is the Founder/Head Writer & Designer at HaHas for HooHas.

When she's not being ridiculous on HooHas, she takes a funny spin on living with purpose and dream chasing like a crazy person on her personal site, annalindthomas.com.

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