Retail Therapy

Retail Therapy

“Hello, welcome to Macy’s. How can I help you?”

“Hi, I’d like to try these in a 7 please?”

“Sure you don’t mean an 8 or a 9?”

“No I mean, a 7.”

“It’s just, it doesn’t look like you’re a 7 and I don’t want to come back here like 3 times. We’re very busy.”

“Fine, you’re right. Damn it, DeMarcus. I’m a size 9. You’re good … It all stems from my mother, you know.”

“Your mother? Is she here? Would she like to try these as well? We don’t have many in st—“

“She had tiny little feet, dancer’s feet. She would criticize my big wide feet often, ‘I don’t know how you got these feet’ she’d say, ‘Probably from your father, look at your sister’s feet, so dainty.’”

“So how many pairs am I bringing out? I really don’t want to make two trips. ”

“Just one pair, DeMarcus, size… 9. I’m a size 9.”


“How do these feel?”

“Tight and restricting … like my mother.”

“Oh god.”

“I still feel her with me. It was everything, my feet, my height, my weight. ‘Suck in’ she’d say. I always suck in, even now. What am I so afraid of?”

“That you won’t fit--”

“You’re absolutely right. I’m afraid I won’t fit her expectations.”

“No, that you won’t fit the shoe. Ma'am, listen, I have a lot of costumers to tend to, will you please just tell me your actual shoe size?”

“You know what, while I have you, I’ll try the black heels here, as well. In a 9 please. I can’t afford both, but screw it, right? I’m swimming in debt from graduate school. My mother thought it would make me more attractive. I honestly thought she just wanted me to find a man there. That’s what would make her happy.”

“I think you’re a ten.”

“I am a ten, thank you DeMarcus. I am a total catch.”

“No a literal ten, you have large feet.”

“Maybe if I lie down the shoes will get on easier.”


**An Hour Later**

“… So anyway, that’s why I’m so afraid of small dogs.”

“Can I help you with anything else, ma'am? We’re very busy.”

“No DeMarcus, I think we’ve had a real breakthrough today. You know what, I’m going to get both pairs, in a 9.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Well if they don’t work, I can just return them next week. Do you accept most insurance providers?”

“… Yes we do. And next week we can talk about your father and his presence. We also have a buy one/get one free sale on spring flats. Make sure to mention my name at the cash register.”

“Thank you, DeMarcus.”

“No, thank you.”