Let me begin by affirming to you all that the following story is 100% true. I've dated some seriously odd individuals, but of all the characters, this is by far one of my favorites.
I met... let's call him Brent... at some sort of orientation picnic at the beginning of my junior year in college. Later that same evening, he and his roommate came to our apartment to ask if we had any Scotch tape they could borrow. (Evidently that was the best they could come up with.) We didn't. They did, however stay for several hours of conversation. By this point it was very obvious that our roommates were in love. Naturally this meant that he and I were meant to be together ... right?
We did spend quite a bit of time together over the next few weeks. Most of it filled with watching movies while he talked on his phone, listening to him play bad Green Day on an electric guitar, and hearing stories of milking cows (which was why one of his hands was significantly larger than the other (No, seriously. We're talking about a Jekyll and Hyde situation). He was quirky to say the least.
Finally one night the quirkiness went too far for me. After he showed up to dinner (throughout which he talked on his phone) wearing tight black pants, a spiked belt and combat boots, I walked him home and gently informed him that I did not intend to take the relationship further. As you might expect, I didn't hear from him for a few days.
A little over a week later, after getting home around 11:00 PM, there was a knock at the door. There he stood with his hands in his jacket pockets. Without a word from me, he said, "I don't know if this will change anything, but I needed you to see." Leaving me up on the balcony, he calmly walked down to the lawn in front of our apartment. Suddenly, there they were, dangling in the moonlight.
Without breaking eye contact, he proceeded to show me what I can only imagine must have been mad nun chucks skills. As the show went on, two thoughts came to my mind: "This can't seriously be happening right now," and "Why is NOBODY else seeing this!?"
When he finished, he stared up at me, waiting for some sort of response. I, who am never lacking in snarky comments, was speechless. After what felt like a lifetime of awkward, blinkless silence, I managed to say, "Thank you," before he crept away into the night.
That was the last time we spoke.
I went back inside to find that while all of my roommates were home, none of them had witnessed the glorious experience that came to be known as, "The Night of the Ninja."