Psychologists believe they’re months away from discovering why children must interrupt their mothers once they get on the phone

Psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin believe they are just months away from finally discovering why children must urgently speak to their mothers once they get on the phone. 

“It’s a social phenomena that’s been happening for decades. We finally think we’ve made a breakthrough,” said Dr. Shana Murphy.

The team of psychologists researching what they call the “Ruin Mommy’s Conversations Until She Dies Phenomena” or RMCUSDP, began researching RMCUSDP since 2007, but have been completely baffled until recently.

“It was very frustrating. 98% of all mothers reported that their children didn’t give a crap they were around, until of course, the phone rang and they noticed their mother was in an engaging conversation,” said Dr. Murphy. “We were just baffled. It should be noted, the more the mother laughed, the worse it was for the kids. All the children suddenly felt as if they had an emergency, whether they desperately needed a snack or had some type of life threatening question that they forgot once the mother put their friend on hold. The behavior is simply bizarre.”

Dr. Murphy went on to note that she believed RMCUSDP is somehow linked to why children never think to ask their father for anything, ever. “But at this point, we just aren’t sure,” she said.

Karen Delaney, CPA and mother of two says she has hope psychologists will soon solve what’s causing the phenomena which will hopefully some day lead to a cure. “The other day I was doing laundry and the kids were playing video games. They had barely muttered two words at me the entire day. My best friend called because she was worried her husband was cheating on her. I decided to take the call in my study and within minutes my son, who has been potty trained for several years, runs in and starts telling me he crapped his pants. I quickly got off the phone, took him to the bathroom and noticed he was completely clean. “Oh sorry,” he says to me. “Thought it was a shart.” I had to get off the phone with my best friend in distress for a mistaken shart? Mothers need help and it seems we’re about to get the help that we need.”

Dr. Murphy says Karen’s experience is common. “Through our research, we’ve discovered children just really don’t want their parents in any type of engaging conversation with another person and they have no reasoning for it. But one thing is clear, they’ll stop at nothing to insure their mother doesn’t enjoy herself in the company, or come to the emotional aide of, another adult. Even if that means intentionally trying to shart their pants.”

Dr. Murphy and her team of psychologists believe the phenomena is linked to the part of the brain that processes jealousy, however if you ask the children why they interrupted their parents they rarely have any idea what’s driving them. “We had our child test subjects sit in their living room and watch a Disney movie while we monitored brain activity. We had the mothers make dinner, do the laundry or do some of their office work at home. The children couldn’t give a bigger crap about what their mothers were doing if they tried. We then had the phone ring and told the women to laugh at jokes, cry, or talk in deep concerned tones. Immediately we saw brain activity in the jealousy regions. The children rose like zombies and began immediately pestering their parents.” 

The psychologists confirmed the most consistent pattern was children yelling “Mom!” over and over until the mother puts the person on hold and screams, “WHAT?!” After that, the most common response was, “I forgot,” or “Can you get me a snack?” even if their father was literally sitting in the kitchen, near the snacks, doing nothing.

“Our discoveries are truly fascinating, but I don’t want mothers to get their hopes up too soon,” said Dr. Murphy. “But we’re getting close to finally solving this once and for all. Very close.”