In my 20s, I cared deeply about not having plans on the weekend.
In my 30s, I hope to God I don’t have plans so I can freaking relax in my sweatpants.
In my 20s, I was always irritated my local bars closed at 2 am because I never wanted to stop dancing!
In my 30s, I’m sneaking out of the bar at 9 pm without telling my friends I’m leaving.
In my 20s, a few glasses of wine at dinner with the girls was routine and no big deal.
In my 30s, a few glasses of wine with the girls will give me a hangover that feels like being stranded on a waterless desert with a migraine and a bad case of the runs.
In my 20s, it felt like I had eons of time to settle down, get married and have children.
In my 30s, I literally felt my eggs checking into retirement homes and the only “good guys” were gay.
In my 20s, I would make out on the beach at sunset.
In my 30s, I’m going to the beach with a metal detector while my husband grabs us some hot dogs.
In my 20s, “a wild night” included tequila shots out of a stranger’s belly button.
In my 30s, “a wild night” is a homemade margarita, a hot bath and cleaning out my belly button with expensive loofahs and organic soaps.
In my 20s, my laundry included sexy underwear and lacy bras.
In my 30s, my laundry includes Spanx and full coverage nursing bras.
In my 20s, date night included dinner at a fancy restaurant before a midnight showing of The Notebook.
In my 30s, a date includes a Coke, a bag of trail mix and a quickie before bed at 10 pm.
In my 20s, I went to bed wearing makeup and woke up camera ready.
In my 30s, I go to bed with a clean, freshly moisturized face thanks to $185 worth of creams and oils and still look like I got in a bar fight when I wake up.
In my 20s, I had the ability to hang out with anyone, at any time.
In my 30s, I only see other adults at Target.
It's hard to believe life can change so much in a decade, right?! Sometimes I miss the "old days" and have a great time reminiscing with friends, but as I sit next to my man, my bulldog and rub my pregnant belly - I wouldn't go back for nuthin' - horrific hangovers, boring weekends and all.