Mother's Day Cards From My Kids if They Told the Truth

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching. A whole entire day for us mothers to be pampered and appreciated for all we do. Theoretically. Although, I will say that my husband does a fine job of trying to ensure that I have a good day. If this year is like any other, my husband will valiantly try to keep the kids well behaved for the day. I will get a present or two, usually a gift card for a pedicure which I greatly appreciate. And I may possibly even get a meal of some sort.  While I do appreciate the effort, I actually wish the dude would bring it down a notch because I would prefer a lower bar when Father’s Day rolls around.

My favorite part of Mother’s Day (besides the promise of an upcoming pedicure and the blissful hour of solitude that comes with it) is receiving heartfelt, homemade cards from my precious children.

Here are a few that I think I can expect to receive this year:

              Dear Mom,
 
Thank you for all you do for us until 9:00 pm. We know that after 9:00 you turn into some sort of a monster and we are NOT to come out of our beds for any reason and you will see us in the morning. The way you can make your voice so growly and scary after 9:00 pm is impressive. Thanks for being such a great mom between the hours of 7:00 am and 9:00 pm. Outside of those times you are scary and mean and not at all helpful or loving, but we still love you. Happy Mother’s Day!
 
Love you lots,
Your children who just want one more hug/ drink/ story/ high five/ snuggle/ tuck-in/ fist bump/ taco bar/ karaoke party
 
 
_________________________________________
 
             Dear Mommy,
 
Happy Mother’s Day to my favorite mommy. Even though your breath smells terrible when I put my sweet face ½ inch away from yours at 6:00 in the morning to ask if you can make me a waffle, and even though you don’t let me eat fruit snacks and chicken nuggets for every meal, I still love you.
 
Love,
Your 5 year old who just wants to eat waffles, chicken nuggets, and fruit snacks
 
 
_________________________________________

 

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
 
I wrote you a little poem:
Roses are red, violets are blue
I love you more than a stinky shoe.
By the way, mom, my shoes really do stink. Do we have any Odor Eaters? Can you stop
whatever it is that you're doing right now and find them for me? Right now?
 
Much Love,
Your child with the stinky feet who writes bad poems and expects you to be at her beck and call at all hours of the day

 

Or possibly this one:

            
             So, I mean, Happy Mother’s Day or something
 
Although I personally think every day is Mother’s Day and don’t understand why we need to have a whole day celebrating moms anyway. We just run around here like your little servants while you play on your phone all day. But then you won’t even let me get a phone and I think that’s a little hypocritical of you. Yes, I just learned that word at school. I learn a lot of words at school, some are not appropriate. I also have learned that I am the only 6th grader in the state who doesn’t have his own cell phone, so, yeah. Anyway, Happy Mother’s Day or whatever.
 
Signed,
             Your middle schooler who is too cool for mushy love notes but who, deep down, still wants his mom
             around even though he would never admit it
 
See what I mean? I am so blessed to have children who express their appreciation for me and all I do for them on this very special day. Because heaven forbid they express it any of the other 364 days a year that I devote my life to them. I hope that all the mothers out there get a little extra TLC this Mother's Day. And if not, you can always treat yourself to a pedicure and enjoy an hour of solitude.