We’ve all heard of the list of friends every woman should have or needs in their life. But what about the friends that every woman actually has? It’s no wonder that people say women’s friendships are complicated. We are a multifaceted group that tends to stick together through thick and thin, as well as thinner and thinnest. Sometimes our group of friends can look like the cast of The Usual Suspects leaving our husbands and others wondering about our ability to effectively adult. But what they don’t know is that each of these friends teach us something about ourselves and make our lives the kaleidoscope that remains.
The following is just the tip of the good, the bad, and the ugly that is our friend’s list.
This friend is a life saver. She’s been with you for a while so she’s able to call you out on all your crap and help you see the underlying issues you’re constantly stuffing under the rug. Because you’re friends you don’t have to schedule an appointment and nothing is too big or small to discuss. You’ll call her after a fight with your husband or if the lady at the check-out accidentally called you sir. This friend shows you that you have real friends that care and know how to tell you the truth.
This friend is a mystery to you. She says she’s the executive administrator over the acquisitions department yet she is able to meet you for ice cream on a Wednesday at two o’clock. She says she just got back from a vacation to the Galapagos Islands but you’ll never see the pictures. Does she really work for the CIA? Is she a ninja? You’re not sure. You’ll never question her about the details and assume she lies about most of her personal life, but, hey, somehow she’s still a good friend. This friend shows you that you really have set the bar low for friendship.
The Friend Your Other Friends Don’t Like
This person is your friend even though none of your other friends like her. Is she moody? Yes. Negative? Always. Rude? Mostly. But you’ve known this friend for a long time and you’re a very loyal person. Even though at her best she is tolerable, you’re not giving up on her yet. This friend shows you that you really do have a big heart. It also makes you flex your ability to set boundaries and boundaries are good, right?
At one time you guys were really good friends but somewhere between the back-handed compliments and overly used xoxoxo’s you’ve begun to question the authenticity of your friendship. At this point you assume she talks about you behind your back to all of her other friends, but you still maintain diplomacies in public. This friend makes you appreciate your true friends and also reminds you to be careful who you share things with.
The Sister Friend
This friend can be your actual sister or just feels like your sister. Maybe it’s the way you can fight and make-up two minutes later or that you’ve been there for each other through all of life’s major moments, but you know this friendship is till-death-do-you-part. This friend shows you that family and friendship go hand and hand.
This is pretty self-explanatory. This friend is always involved in criminal activity. In her teenage years she was caught shoplifting and in her twenties she had at least 2 DUI’s or a hit and run (but no one was injured). She is in a perpetual state of losing her driver’s license or driving without insurance or heading to court about one or the other. She’s had more speeding tickets than you can count and you’ve had to personally post bail money for her in the past. But you don’t kick your friends when they’re down, so you’ve maintained the friendship. You look forward to the day that she gets her life together and are rooting for her every step of the way. This friend gives you the chance to act as a therapist and makes you feel good about your own life choices.
The Childhood Friend
This friend has been there from the beginning. You guys love to reminiscence about all your bad hairstyles and old boyfriends. You often run into each other at the grocery store or county fair, but when you do it’s just like old times. Every time you see each other you exchange numbers and promise to get together for dinner and you don’t, but you know your hearts are in the right place. This friend reminds you of your childhood and the times when you were all wild and free.
Want to grab a coffee? Go to happy hour for ½ priced appetizers? Spontaneous weekend beach trip? Target? This is the person you call. She’s always down for a good time or just to hang out. She doesn’t let work or family obligations keep her from being your sidekick. You’re not sure how, but, hey, you’re not complaining. This friend shows you that if you ever need help moving, you’ll be able to at least count on one person to help.
The Martha Stewart Friend
This friend is a crafting genius or cooking phenome or gardening extraordinaire. Whatever she does, she does it better than everyone else. You often look to her for advice in her area of expertise and secretly wish you had her talents. This friend keeps you motivated on your own homemaking game or makes you feel less than. It all depends on how much work you and your therapist friend have done on you valuing your own self-worth (you may need to call therapist friend for another appointment).
Blatantly Honest Friend
This friend is brutally honest. She does not know how to sugar coat things and will tell you exactly what she thinks. But she will also tell other people what she thinks, which means she’ll defend you even when you’re not around. Some people can’t handle this type of friend, but those who stick it out realize that she’s really got your back. This friend inspires you to be brutally honest with yourself and others.
This friend is always encouraging. If you want someone to be positive and tell you they think your idea is great, then she is your go-to. Want to have another baby? She’ll tell you to go ahead. All your kids are adorable and it would be a crime against humanity if you didn’t grace Earth with at least one more. Don’t want to have another baby? She’ll tell you that’s a wise decision and to trust your instincts. This friend makes you feel competent and good about all your life decisions.
Dish Rag Deb
She’s got the personality of a dish rag but you’ve managed to squeeze out a friendship because you have enough personality for the both of you. This friend makes you work on your listening skills and being attentive because it takes all you have not to interrupt and start a conversation about yourself. She’s most likely a friend you found at work.
Socially Unaware Suze
This friend you’ve shared some of your most embarrassing moments with mainly because, well, she does embarrassing stuff in public. Maybe it’s the way she talks louder than everyone else or has no qualms about public flatulence. Maybe it’s how she starts phantom fights with people who aren’t really staring at her or finds a phantom hair in every entrée she’s ever ordered, leading to an embarrassing exchange with the cook.
Either way, you know it’s always going to be interesting when you two hang out. This friend gives you lots of laughs and makes you feel like the Queen of Social Etiquette.
The I Don’t Know Your Name Friend
This is pretty self-explanatory. This is for the many, many women you are friends with but you don’t know their names. Maybe it’s the fellow soccer mom that you’ve shared snack duties with and who you’ve swapped stories with of when your kids were toddlers. Maybe it’s the friend from church who you see every Sunday and hug. Maybe it’s the lady standing behind you in the deli line that you exchange eye rolls with when an elderly man reprimands you for allowing your child to run around with a lollipop in his mouth.
These women are very different but all serve the same purpose. Comradery and solidarity. These friends show you that a friend is anyone who comes along side of you in your time of need.
The Easy Friend
Maybe she’s your work bestie, life-long friend, or a newbie, but you consider her one of your best friends because everything is so easy with her. Whether you’re just talking, hanging out, or sitting in silence, you don’t have to entertain her and you always have a good time no matter what.
You’re each other’s biggest fan. This friend reminds you that if you only have one really good friend in life you’re lucky.