How Do Pirates Get Their Names?

The five year old is saying something new...something...inappropriate. It's quite funny to the Hubs and me. Oh, hell yes it is.

For those of you who don't know, our little guy's brain is wired a little differently than most of us. He has autism. Now, don't go feeling all sorry for him, or us, we wouldn't change him for the world. He has taught everyone who loves him that being different is sometimes way, way cooler than being "normal". One thing he does struggle with is talking. He's learning fast, and his specialized education has him climbing mountains everyday. Two years ago, he didn't say a single word. Now, at age 5, he is making up for lost time.

See, he likes to talk in a pirate voice sometimes. He covers one eye, and in his best raspy, gravelly impression says "Arrrgh I a pirate." This is sometimes accompanied by him stabbing me with a hooked finger, and expecting me to "die" spectacularly from this vicious pirate attack. As of the last two weeks he decided to "name" his pirate identity.

Big Balls the Pirate. Yep, you heard me.

Now the Hubs and I do a lot of interpreting for him since his speech is very hard to understand sometimes. And sometimes it takes us days to figure out new words. But his pirate name was clear as day..."Big Balls."

The first time he said it, I laughed nervously...

"I'm sorry, honey. What was that?"

"Arrrgh I a pirate! Big Balls!"

" mean Big Beard the Pirate, sweet pea? Maybe Big Boss??"

"Arrrgh! Big Balls!"

"Um, Hubs, do you have any idea what he's saying?"

"Big Balls, Honey. He is saying he is Big Balls the Pirate." (never looks up, keeps reading his news feed)


So instead of feeling like a failure as a parent, we just let him say it, and laugh uncontrollably every time.

Embrace the Big Balls! Wait...what?