1. The next person to say "Mommy" is grounded. Forever.
2. Is that poop?
3. Did you poop?
4. That's enough, stop touching your wienie.
5. It's in your toy basket. Did you look behind it? Well I don't know where it is, look for it!!
6. I don't need to shower today, I showered yesterday. Wait, did I?
7. What's in your mouth? Open it. OPEN IT!
8. I said STOP. LICKING. THAT.
9. Oh, sweet Jesus ... please help me get to nap time ... Jesus, Jesus, Jesus ...
10. Why are you naked?
11. Don't touch mommy's boobs in public.
12. No, you can't wear your princess costume to the grocery store. Ok fine, just hurry up!
13. Can I please, PLEASE, poop in peace?