We’ve all heard it; we’ve all said it. Being a mother is hard. Yes, of course, it is the most rewarding thing we will ever have the privilege to do. But it is also one of the hardest. Anyone who claims otherwise is full of shit. Sometimes moms need a break. Being able to hang out with friends over cocktails and appetizers to commiserate can be just what the doctor ordered. If your doctor is not ordering time with the girls- you should probably find a new doctor.
I am lucky to have a group of friends with whom I regularly get together once a month. We have been having our Girls Nights Out for many years now and have helped each other through pregnancies, crazy jobs, newborn troubles, toddler years, school issues, marital issues, illnesses, etc. I honestly think I would go crazy if I didn’t have these friends to vent to, to cry with, and to laugh with.
Ironically, we go out to have a break from our family and the household responsibilities, but 98% of our time is spent talking about our kids and/ or our husbands; usually both. And while we’re all blessed to have pretty great husbands, the conversation inevitably gravitates to what bumbling idiots our husbands are and how nothing would ever get done in our houses without us around. I would venture to bet that if I sat in on any dinner with other moms out for the night, their conversations would be similar.
I actually don’t think my husband is a bumbling idiot. So why, then, do I complain about him when I am with my girlfriends? I suppose it is because I feel I can vent and commiserate with friends who can relate to my frustrations. Yes, there are times that I wish he would do more around the house and I wish he would do them MY way. Rather than nag him at home about those things, I just vent to my friends and move on. We all do it. But I would be horrified if I thought he was complaining about me when he was hanging out with his buddies.
It made me wonder what guys do talk about.
I asked him one night after he had some “guy time”. What do they call it? Guys Night Out? The Bro Show? Dudes on the Loose? I don’t think they actually call it anything.
“What do you talk about when you go out with your friends?” I asked him.
“I mean, nothing, really. Sports maybe? We just hang out and shoot the shit.”
“Do you complain about your wives?”
“No. What is there to complain about?”
Right answer! See! He most definitely is not a bumbling idiot.
Recently he hosted a Fantasy Football League draft at our house and I had a chance to hear him in action with his buddies. I was home for awhile while they were in the basement and didn’t know I was there and could hear them. The conversations rotated around these few topics: beer, football, work, and insults to each other. They were peppered with “dude” and “man” and “bro”. Basically a lot of nothing. He wasn’t kidding. There was no mention of their wives at all.
While I guess that’s a relief, part of me is a little annoyed that I wasn’t even mentioned. Out of sight, out of mind I guess. Yes, we women may bitch about our husbands, but at least we are thinking of them.
I am going to have to talk this over with my GNO pals. Preferably over an appletini and a delightful wedge salad.