Personalized license plates come at great risk. The likelihood of becoming your town's crowning douche-canoe rises substantially if it's not done just right.
Wesh Orlando recently reported Florida's top rejected license plates. What I quickly gathered is that Floridians like poop, fart and naked jokes. Let's go through some of my favorites.
Uh, no. No I'm not naked. I'm going to Walgreens to pick up a prescription and some paper towels. But, thanks?
Uhhh. I don't get it. Are you bragging about your hemorrhoids? Are you asking me if I have hemorrhoids? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME AND MY HEMORRHOIDS!?
I don't understand why this was rejected. Can't a woman express her true self on the roads anymore? If there's a wild woman with her hair in a wild, frizzy bun with coffee stains on her shirt, zigzagging all over the roads, then I appreciate her attempt to tell us all what's going on.
She's PMSing (explaining the wild look in her eye) and she's a mom (explaining why she looks homeless). What's the problem here, Florida?
Is this a command? A suggestion? I just feel like mankind has been able to reproduce just fine without this bossy person from Florida trying to tell us what to do.
What is all this hype around being naked all the time? Sure, it may be freeing and even slightly exhilarating at first - but then you actually have to sit on things. I don't want my own bare buns on my couch, let alone a guest's bare buns on my couch. Could you imagine all the sanitizing?! Off topic - do they provide those hand sanitizer pumps at nudist colonies? How does one feel comfortable touching anything at those places? Also, what are you supposed to do with your eyes? I'd get kicked out within 10 minutes for the horrified look on my face while I stared entranced at a stranger's genitalia. O2B Nude, indeed sir.
Why do I get the feeling this was submitted by a middle aged man giggling while he pressed "submit" on his computer?
Which leads me to my next license plate ...
Really? This is something kid's say while giggling. Or it's something adults say when they're trying to warn their spouse to get out of the shampoo aisle quick before it drifts over to the lady innocently looking at the back of an Herbal Essence bottle. I just don't think it's quite as relevant during rush hour traffic.
There's a lot more where these came from! Check out all 60 here.