Conversations with My Husband: Tricking Me into Making a Panini Comes at a Price

Husband: Where did the cheese and caramel popcorn go?

Me: I emotionally ate the rest of it last night after a long day of a teething Lucy.

Husband: Great. There's seriously nothing to eat in this house.

​​Me: If by "nothing" you mean "nothing deliciously premade just sitting in the fridge ready for you to eat," then yeah, I guess. 

Husband: What am I supposed to do, squirt ketchup on a plate and eat it?

Me: Or ... make yourself a sandwich? Having to make yourself something to eat isn't the same as not having anything to eat. Am I taking crazy pills? 

Husband: Well, can you make it for me? I can't make it good like you do.

Me: You can't put mayo and mustard on bread, then put slices of ham and cheese on bread, then put the bread together to make a sandwich? Sure you can, I believe in you babe. 

Husband: I sense your sarcasm, but it's all about ratios! It never tastes nearly as good when I make it.

Me: Not with that attitude. 

Husband: Ok, fine. Maybe I'll make a Panini. Where is the Panini thingie?

Me: In the lower cupboard to the right of the stove.

Husband: How do I make a Panini in it?

Me: Turn it on. When the red light turns green, put the sandwich in it. 

Husband: Don't I need to butter the outside of the bread?

Me: I would.

Husband: Why didn't you tell me that?

Me: Because I'm writing! I have deadlines, sir.

Husband: How much cheese should I use?

Me: OH MY GOD MOVE! I'll make it.

Husband: Ok, thank you babe.

::Makes Panini (a very delicious one, might I add)::

​​Me: What are you doing?

Husband: Watching the basketball game. It's March Madness, a lot of good games are on today.

Me: So instead of getting my writing done, I'm in here making you the best Panini of your life while you're watching a basketball game? You should be making me a Panini! 

Husband: Uh, well I mean ... what?

Me: What?

Husband: What?

Me: You owe me.

Husband: May I offer you a sensual massage later?

Me: I call your sensual massage and I raise you a "play with my hair while we binge on the last season of House of Cards after Lucy goes to sleep."

Husband: Oddly specific and not nearly as appealing.

Me: Do you want your Panini or not?

Husband: Yes.

Me: Here's your sandwich. I'll meet you at the couch. 8 o'clock. 

 

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