Just a little grocery shopping ...
Me: Wait. Why am I in this aisle?
Husband: I have no idea. I'm just the guy with the cart following the crazy lady with curls.
Me: I needed something for one of the dinners this week. What was it?
Husband: I don't know, olives?
Me: Olives? Out of all the things to guess I needed for dinner, you picked olives?
Husband: Well, we're standing next to a wall of olives ... so ...
Me: Hold on, I have to pee again.
Husband: Am I just waiting here?
Me: Yeah, just stay there, I'll be right back!
5 minutes ...
Husband: Is this real life?
Me: Oh my gosh, sorry. I have pregnancy brain like whoa.
Husband: Please don't say "like whoa" ever again. You're in your 30s and you're carrying my child.
Me: Isn't that what all the cool kids are saying?
Husband: Yes, that's why I need you to stop.
Me: Ok, well - let's get stuff for the baked beans I'm making for the fourth and then get the hell outta here.
::stares blankly at the baked beans::
Husband: What's the problem?
Me: I'm doubling the recipe, so I need 32 oz times 2 ... so ... that would be ...
Husband: 64! Am I on candid camera?
Me: I know it's 64, THANKS. But the biggest can is 28 oz ... so ...
Husband: Get two big cans and an 8 oz can. You're starting to scare me.
Me: I was getting there, ok?! You don't know what it's like having a baby steal all your blood making your brain shut down.
Husband: I don't think that's how pregnancy brain works.
Me: So you're an OB now?
Husband: Alright, this is escalating. What else do you need?
Me: Do you think it would be disrespectful if I asked to use a motorized cart?
Husband: You do not need a motorized cart!
Me: Babe, I'm so freaking tired - we ran too many errands this morning. Can you carry me then?
Husband: Like Scarlett O'Hara?
Me: You have to admit, that's a pretty good visual.