Conversations with My Husband: Pillow Talk

Rob and I are getting into bed for the night and I turn my bedside lamp on for reading:

Husband: Is that lamp a poorly thought out prank ... or .... ?

Me: I was going to read before bed. You should too! We can both read by our lamps. I think it's something old people did in the 50s before Netflix.

Husband: No way, I'm exhausted. I'll wear a mask.

.... please don't use my arm as a book rest.

​​Me: Please? Reading on my back isn't comfortable anymore and reading on my side is awkward.

Husband: Okay, fine. ::drifts off into heavy breathing::

Me: Laughs ::shakes bed:: Laughs ::shakes bed::

Husband: Nope. This isn't happening.

Me: Sorry, this part in the book is hilarious, it took me by surprise. 

Laughs ::shakes bed:: Laughs ::shakes bed::

Husband: It can't be that funny.

Me: No, you're right. Trying to not laugh is actually funnier. 

Laughs ::shakes bed:: Laughs ::shakes bed::

Husband: Okay, you better now?

Me: Yep. Better. Nope. Sorry. Still laughing.

Husband: About what?

Me: You can't be so serious about me not laughing - it's making me laugh harder.

Husband: So you want me to be happy and smile like THIS?! And fake laugh like THIS?! HA HA HA HA HAAAA!

Me: Yep, that was dumb and annoying. Totally killed it, laugh ruined.

Husband: Good.

Me: Good.

Husband: What do you mean, that was dumb? You didn't think that was funny? Am I not funny?

Me: Is that a trick question? 

Husband: No really, you think I'm funny, right?

​​Me: Of course. 

Husband: Is what I just did to you like when you corner me and ask if I can tell if you've gained weight?

Me: Lie to survive the moment? Yes.

Husband: Okay. WAIT! I'm really not funny?

Me: WAIT! You can tell I've gained weight?

Husband: No.

Me: No what?

Husband: Can tell what?

Me: What?

Husband: You think I'm not funny? 

Me: No. I mean, yes! Stay on the point! You think I'm fat?

Husband: No! This is ridiculous, I'm going to bed.

Me: Fine.

Husband: Fine.

Me: Laughs ::shakes bed:: Laughs ::shakes bed::

Husband: A-Ha! I thought I ruined the funny with my "stupid" joke? 

Me: No, the book. Sorry. It's hilarious.


If we sound a lot like you and your partner, give us a like on that Facebook button below so we don't feel so weird ... :D