Are You There God? It's Me...

Are you there God? It's me Jenn...

Times have been kind of tough lately.

My boys have been quite challenging and work quite stressful. I am hoping you could help me out just a tad. Could you help me out by reminding my boys of the following things?

1. School clothes are for school and play clothes are for play. School clothes are not to be worn when you are riding your bike in the mud puddle.

2. Stuffed animals cannot take baths like humans can. This means, Baby Elephant and Cookie Monster must stay out of the tub.

3. School clothes are not to be cut, colored on, etc (see #1).

4. I send you to bed so I can have some peace and quiet. Please don't make me get angry and lock your door in order to keep you in your room!

5. We use the potty. I shouldn't have to say anymore on this one, right?

6. Speaking of the potty...if I am in there for a long time, it doesn't necessarily mean I am taking that long to potty. I am probably hiding from you.

7. The dog is not to be ridden on, hit, bit, etc. You also should not scream at the top of your lungs in one of her ears. One of these days she is going to turn on you and pay you back for all of the mean things you have done to her.

8. Any form of life, other than human and dog, must stay outside of the house. This means frogs, rodents, worms, bugs... I think you get the idea.

9. If you leave the house you should have all of your clothes on... PERIOD!!!

10. Please do not shout, scream or yell while mommy is driving the car. She is likely to wreck.

11. If mommy is enjoying a margarita, please go see daddy.

12. If mommy says "no" that is the final answer. Don't go ask daddy, I'm the boss around here.

13. It is not a good idea to hit your brother with anything, especially toy shovels and hammers.

14. My living room is not "the Octagon" so please keep the MMA out of it.

15. It is not nice to stare. It also isn't nice to stare and make loud comments about the person you are staring at.

16. You are not in the Witness Protection Program. When I say your name, you should respond to it.

I think that is it for now. Amen.

Jenn is a 35 years old mom of three living in Pataskala, Ohio (just east of Columbus, Ohio)  and is married to her best friend, Tommy.  Hayden is 8, Grayson is 5 and Keegan is 17 months.  Grayson who is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD provides loads of the entertainment (and frustration).  She is also a middle school teacher in a school district just south of Columbus. Read more at her blog

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