In an admission that has shocked that masses, God has finally admitted that toddlers were “perhaps a minor oversight.”
According to reports from the Vatican, God admits that on his seventh day of rest, he recalled he hadn’t quite “wrapped up” human development between 2 and 3 years old. Since he was already relaxing and, to be blunt, “over it,” he figured any challenges toddlers posed could be used as obstacles to sharpen the parent’s character, or at the very least practice proper anger management.
“In retrospect, I think I just made tiny sociopaths that wreck everybody’s lives. Or at least their dinner out at a restaurant,” God said.
Omaha resident, Linda Cornell, is relieved to have an explanation, but remains nonplussed.
“My toddler just asked for cereal and when I poured the cereal started crying and ran away from the table. Then he came back as if nothing happened and ate the cereal. God help me. Literally,” said Cornell ...