15 Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch Fuller House

Maybe it’s just the part of me that naturally abhors anything overly-hyped, or maybe the lack of acting talent in the original series has me leery, but I for one, am sick of hearing about Fuller House. So as I’m scrolling through my Facebook feed and reading all the things people are clearing off their schedules to binge-watch an entire season of this absurdity, I thought it only fair I list a few of the things I’d actually be willing to do instead
Pass a kidney stone
Grocery shop with toddlers
Spend an afternoon with Kate Gosselin
Get life advice from Dr. Phil
Receive unsolicited Candy Crush requests
Watch The View
Navigate a car through the streets of New York City
Go on a road trip with my in-laws
Adopt Caillou
Endorse Donald Trump…or Hillary Clinton…6 of 1, really
Eat dainty girl food at Panera Bread
Go to parent/teacher conferences
Start another carb-free diet
Share bread with Oprah
Learn Spanish from Dora
But, hey, that’s just me. Kudos to you if you’re part of the generation who can so easily forgive such a poor, unfortunate standard of acting, but when it comes to Fuller House, I’ve had my fill…as have Stephanie’s fake porn boobs, apparently.