Facebook needs a "NOPE" button nestled between “Like” and “Comment”. Why? Here are merely ten examples out of millions:
“Good morning, Facebook!” posted at 5:47 a.m.
Am I supposed to like the fact that you told a social networking site good morning? Am I supposed to comment on something so utterly absurd?
“Big dinner planned! Three cheese macaroni, homemade biscuits, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, cole slaw, butterbeans, tomatoes, creamed corn, kernel corn, corn on the cob, 14 racks of ribs and 7 hormone-induced chickens on the grill. Delicious key lime pie, peach cobbler and banana pudding with Nilla wafers for dessert. Condiments include ketchup, hot sauce, see more..”
If your status update about dinner includes the blue “see more” link then A) you are having too much food and B) NOPE.
“I am SOOOOO mad right now! Arghghgughghghgh!”
Do you want us to ask what made you so mad? NOPE.
The individual that just shared every song from the Def Leppard “Hysteria” album has now decided to share every video on You Tube that incorporated a kitten, a baby, an instrument or a race car. We’ve heard “Hysteria”. We also have access to the internet.
“At approximately 3 PM yesterday, Mike was arrested for spray painting graffiti on the Thompson Street Bridge. As the police officer was reading him his rights, a meth lab fell out of his pocket. He called me from the police station while I was getting a bikini wax at Barb’s Beauty Spot, so I went up to there to bail him out. Sgt. Raymond Tinsley said Mike’s bail had been raised to twelveteen million dollars on account of those public nudity charges he got back in 1999, 2001, and 2004 in Clark County. We don’t have twelveteen million dollars because we bought a new Xbox, love seat, throw pillows and rims for Mike’s Firebird last week. He will see Judge McAdams in Courtroom C at 9:15 in the morning, but it’s looking pretty grim. Please keep us in your prayers.”
Please keep your detailed drama off Facebook and NOPE.
“I just took a Buzzfeed quiz and I am Princess Leia’s left braid.”
A photo of a gorgeous young girl captioned, “No makeup!”
NOPE. Also, please get some crow's feet.
“I’m so drunk right now!” followed by an inside joke that no one gets except the one person you tagged.
“My husband is the most amazing man in the world. He spoils me so much. He just bought me a brand new Jaguar with a ruby-studded steering wheel! We are so in love.”
We all know he’s banging the waitress at the country club.
“I ate a box of Krispy Kreme donuts last night, but I didn’t gain a pound!”
Write your Senator and demand Facebook get a NOPE button today!