So maybe you’ve heard. There’s now a name for those of us who get irate at the sound of someone chewing their food loudly. It’s called Misophonia and it’s a ‘brain disorder.’
If that’s true, then I’ve got a brain disorder. And mine doesn’t end there. Here’s a list of all my other symptoms…and by symptoms, I mean more sounds at the dinner table that send me over the edge faster than you can say Misophonia.
Gulping of a drink.
Crunching of an empty water bottle being smashed after it’s been gulped.
The clank of a fork against teeth.
Grinding of a steak knife against a plate.
Cell phone sounds, including one-sided conversations of someone talking on theirs.
The creaking of a chair being rocked as it’s tipped onto it’s back legs.
Anyone talking excessively loud.
The repetitive drumming of hands and/or bouncing of legs against the table or chairs.
Slurping. Just, slurping. *shudder*
Any and all bodily functions including but not limited to, farting, burping, chronic coughing, blowing your nose and so help me, sniffing in and loudly swallowing whatever the hell you just sniffed in.
So yes, I do believe there's a disorder here. Now allow me to pinpoint the problem and suggest what we can do about it.
Diagnosis: Bad table manners.
Recommendation: Stop it.
*My husband proofed this for me and afterward said, “Wait a minute. I do like 6 of these things.”
Thus confirming why we don’t eat dinner at the table anymore.