Me:  No!!!  Not basketball again!  Ple - he - he - he - hease ... pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease ...

Husband:  I never get to watch what I want to watch!

Me:  I'm really trying to be generous, but the thought of watching this game for the next 3 hours is sucking the life right out of me.

Husband: Oh, yeah - because I have a blast when you watch House Hunters marathons.

Me:  Well, it's usually House Hunters International, but close enou ...

Husband: ... and Chopped, and Cupcake Wars - a grown man watching Cupcake Wars?!? ... and Dancing With The Suckas - which is on for multiple hours TWO NIGHTS in a row, thank you very much ... 

Me:  I refer to it as DWTS, but ...

Husband:  ... and I also don't say anything when my intelligent wife subjects our home to 5 different versions of the Kardashians ... how many  horrific shows do they need about the same dumb, rich, superficial morons completely obsessed with themselves?

Me: Your language is a little strong considering they're all entrepreneurs ...  

Husband: Do you hear yourself right now?  You're defending the Kardashians ...

Me: Oh no ... what's happening to me?

Husband:  Shame.  Shame is what's happening to you.

Me: I started watching them for HooHas research and those big bootied bizzos sucked me in!

Husband:  Do you see how I'm a better person for wanting to watch basketball?

Me:  You're good, Thomas - but not that good.  How about we watch Kloe and Lamar?  Lamar Odom plays basketball ... so it's sort of a compromise, right?  ... hello? ... honey? ... 

Husband:  I give up.

Me:  Does that mean I can watch Oprah's Next Chapter?  It starts in a few minutes ...