There are reasons why, when playing games with friends, Rob and I are never on the same team.  It could be because I'm extremely, inappropriately, competitive. And because, in general, Rob couldn't give a crap.

This is Cranium night  ...

Me:  Ok, who's acting this one out - me or you?

Husband:  I'll do it.

Me: Don't screw this up ... we're losing.  You can do this!

Husband: Holy crap, chill out.  The clue is, "Person."

Me: Just go already!! They started the timer!!!!

Husband:  Ok *clears throat* "Shrimp on the barBAY!"

Me:  What?  Is that an Australian accent??

Husband:  Crikey, I've got me a WHOPPAH!

Me:  Uh - uh - uh, Crocodile Hunter!!

Husband:  There's a dingo afoot!!

Me:  Um, um, um, what's his real name .... the guy with that show that died with those kids ... um, um STEVER ERWIN - HIS NAME IS STEVE ERWIN!!!

Husband: *shakes head* Shrimp on the barBAY!

Me:  What, are you Chilis?  Are you the freaking restaurant Chili's???  I thought you were a person!!  I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!

Husband:  Shrimp on the barbay!

Me: Stop saying "Shrimp on the BARBAY!! Unless you're Chili's I'm obviously not getting it!!

Husband:  Um, um ... come on babe, you know this ...

Me: Oh, oh ... wait!! Crocodile Dundee!!  Are you Crocodile Dundee!??

Husband: No! Not even close!!

Me: YOU'RE GIVING ME NOTHING!!!

FRIEND: Time's almost up!

Me: ROOOOOOOOOOB!!!

Husband:  Stop screaming!! You're stressing me out!!! Um ... um ... Oh, wait - on his show he's mean and he says *in weird Australian/Asian/Cockney accent* "Get off the stage, you're terrible - just terrible!"

FRIEND: Time's up!

Me:  Simon Cowell!?!?!?!?

Husband:  YES!!

Me:  He's British!  What the heck was all that shrimp on the barBAY crap about?

Husband: I thought he was Australian.

Me:  Seriously?? Then be like, "Oh hey Paula," or "That is the worst singing I've ever heard" or "You're amazing Kelly Clarkson"  I would have gotten it immediately!

Husband: Well, whatever - I never watched that stupid show.  We didn't get it, who cares.

Me: Who cares? This is the last time we're on the same team.

Husband: No, because when we're on opposite teams you start pelvic thrusting when you're winning and it drives me so insane it ruins my night.

Me: Yes, exactly - because I'm win ...

FRIEND: So, who's turn is it?