There are reasons why, when playing games with friends, Rob and I are never on the same team. It could be because I'm extremely, inappropriately, competitive. And because, in general, Rob couldn't give a crap.
This is Cranium night ...
Me: Ok, who's acting this one out - me or you?
Husband: I'll do it.
Me: Don't screw this up ... we're losing. You can do this!
Husband: Holy crap, chill out. The clue is, "Person."
Me: Just go already!! They started the timer!!!!
Husband: Ok *clears throat* "Shrimp on the barBAY!"
Me: What? Is that an Australian accent??
Husband: Crikey, I've got me a WHOPPAH!
Me: Uh - uh - uh, Crocodile Hunter!!
Husband: There's a dingo afoot!!
Me: Um, um, um, what's his real name .... the guy with that show that died with those kids ... um, um STEVER ERWIN - HIS NAME IS STEVE ERWIN!!!
Husband: *shakes head* Shrimp on the barBAY!
Me: What, are you Chilis? Are you the freaking restaurant Chili's??? I thought you were a person!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!
Husband: Shrimp on the barbay!
Me: Stop saying "Shrimp on the BARBAY!! Unless you're Chili's I'm obviously not getting it!!
Husband: Um, um ... come on babe, you know this ...
Me: Oh, oh ... wait!! Crocodile Dundee!! Are you Crocodile Dundee!??
Husband: No! Not even close!!
Me: YOU'RE GIVING ME NOTHING!!!
FRIEND: Time's almost up!
Husband: Stop screaming!! You're stressing me out!!! Um ... um ... Oh, wait - on his show he's mean and he says *in weird Australian/Asian/Cockney accent* "Get off the stage, you're terrible - just terrible!"
FRIEND: Time's up!
Me: Simon Cowell!?!?!?!?
Me: He's British! What the heck was all that shrimp on the barBAY crap about?
Husband: I thought he was Australian.
Me: Seriously?? Then be like, "Oh hey Paula," or "That is the worst singing I've ever heard" or "You're amazing Kelly Clarkson" I would have gotten it immediately!
Husband: Well, whatever - I never watched that stupid show. We didn't get it, who cares.
Me: Who cares? This is the last time we're on the same team.
Husband: No, because when we're on opposite teams you start pelvic thrusting when you're winning and it drives me so insane it ruins my night.
Me: Yes, exactly - because I'm win ...
FRIEND: So, who's turn is it?