Why Anna Doesn't Do Black Friday

HooHas Black Friday Survival Guide

HooHas Black Friday Survival Guide via @hahasforhoohas

Black Friday is more than a shopping tradition after Thanksgiving. It’s life or death. For savings. And your wallet. And your sanity. Which you’ll lose when you see a large woman in a track suit grabbing the last Xbox One whilst making eye contact with you wearing a smug smirk on her face.

Black Friday just got real.

You need a strategy to keep you sharp, but more importantly to keep you safe. You’ll find the tools you need in this survival guide. It will save your life. If your life was reduced to saving money on presents for a sacred holiday that has now become completely commercialized. But forget all that, there’s no time for politics. 

It’s time to focus. Focus on surviving Black Friday. 

Why Bruno and I Will Be The First to Die During an Apocalypse

I know what you're thinking, “Is that fire shooting up from manholes about a block away from where you live?”

Source: Buzzfeed via Reddit

Why yes, yes it is. This picture that made its rounds on Reddit is right next to my building. Some panel, or wiring or something underground (I'm not an electrician, mmkay?) blew, causing a FOR SERIOUS explosion. You all don't understand, I could have died. What if I had been walking down the middle of the street when this happened?!! I live in a downtown area so I hear quite a bit of nonsense. Drunk people screaming, saxophone players lulling me to sleep and/or totally pissing me off because I can’t hear the New Girl on TV, truck drivers opening up their hatches for a delivery so loudly it sounds like car bombs, etc. etc. So when I heard an odd boom followed by sirens, I wasn’t even paying attention. Until, of course, our lights flickered. Then completely went off. Then it went black.

Beets Do Not Always Mean Vegetable: A French Vocabulary Lesson

Living in France for over three years, I am still constantly learning new things. There seems to be a never-ending supply of experiences where I truly make a complete ass out of myself, as I attempt to absorb the French culture and master their difficult language. As time has passed, I admit that speaking has become close to second nature but I can’t say that this has always been the case. I’ll never forget my first Christmas in France. While I had a decent grasp of the language, I could hardly pride myself on being a fluent speaker. To give you an idea, I’d say that I had the skills of a five year old - maybe six, depending on whom you asked. That Christmas, I had been invited to my boyfriend’s family’s home to celebrate the grand European tradition of Christmas Eve. Neither my boyfriend nor his family spoke English, so with my weak French skills, I did my very best to communicate with some intelligence. I shudder to think what I really sounded like.

Top 5 Things Mothers REALLY Do Better Than Fathers

The other day we read a post on Babble.com titled Top 10 Things Mothers Do Better Than Fathers.  

Receive a Polite Note? Allow Us To Translate That For You ...

As the saying goes, if you have nothing nice to say, write a polite note to passive aggressively get your point across! Allow us a moment to translate our favorite "polite notes" ...

The "Follow-Up" Email

Oh Honey, That is NOT Hand Sanitizer

~Submitted by Grace

Via: Flickr, Myrone Delacruz

You can’t really explain what “awkward” means to a child because they just haven’t experienced it yet.

Anna's Guide To Meditating Badly

I don't know if you know this, but I'm a professional meditator.*

It all began when I decided to kick my spirituality up a notch and started incorporating meditation to my daily routine. The rigors of starting a business while trying to be constantly creative has kept my brain spouting off like it’s on a bad mushroom trip - and I’m not talking the truffle variety for you prudes.

In truth, I’ve really enjoyed it. It has kept me focused on my purpose, not results. On serving others, not who can serve me.

My Computerus Goes Kablammy

How Anna and Jenny Resolve Conflict

A couple days ago, Anna and Jenny experienced a tension-filled conversation that felt like daggers to their hearts.  It's not easy running a business (I use the term business in relation to this website pretty loosely here) and when deadlines hit, sometimes tensions run high. Like most arguments, it centered around miscommunication.

Anna decided to extend the first olive branch to reconciliation by sending Jenny this:

Teachers Are Awesome Freaks?

Looking back at my time as a teacher,  I realized I was a freak with superhuman powers. Let me explain...

Keeping New Year Resolutions, But Not Really

I don’t want to brag, but when I make a New Years resolution, I keep it. Until I don’t keep it, which pretty much happens every year. (Note: this will be the hook for tomorrow’s eCard. Try and act surprised when you see it. Thanks.)

I always find the week between Christmas and New Years Day a little awkward. I’ve already made my resolutions, so right after Christmas, I’m usually anxious to start them. Mostly because my pants are tight.

“Why don’t you just buy those incredible stretchy “pajama jeans” to help get you through?” I can hear you saying.

The Rapture! Or a Busted Powerline. Whatever.

It all happened one glorious Tuesday around 8:00 am.

I went to bed Monday night excited because I would be taking my son to storytime for toddlers at the library the next morning. He was three, and now old enough to receive a library card and attend storytime. I couldn't wait to share my love of reading with him!

Fast forward thru to 8:00 am on Tuesday: I am awakened by a loud "BOOM!" and a glaringly-bright light. The rapture! Wait. What? I didn't hear any trumpets. And I am still here! Oh crap, I am hell-bound!

The HooHas Top 15 Ridiculous Phrases From a Mother's Mouth

I'm Pretty Sure I'm an Oracle - Twice.

This post has been updated from last year ... updated with more hilarity, that is.

I always knew I had a gift, I just didn't know it was the same gift as the sweet old black woman making oatmeal cookies in the movie The Matrix.  Turns out, we're both Oracles.

Wow, it feels good to finally get that off my chest.

The Importance Of Matching Your Underwear To Your Shoes

Via: Public Domain Pictures

I got all dressed for church. I mean I thought I really looked good!

My Pedicure In A Third World Country Plus Lionel Richie

Have you ever been in a situation where you're uncomfortable, but you don't do anything about it because you could offend someone? Even though that someone else is a perfect stranger?

Why do we put ourselves through it! The following is a situation where, on several occasions, I should have put my foot down (literally) and left, but I didn't want to insult a 'professional' at work - so I stayed. And suffered. But now I definitely look back and laugh because it's so ridiculous.

Things I Wish Were an April Fools' Joke

Sure, I could have tried to prank you and said, "The HooHas girls can't think up any more funny crap, so we're quitting" or "Anna is getting a full bodied tattoo of a unicorn pooping marshmallows so you're on your own until she heals," but April Fools' jokes are so been there. Done that.

So, instead, I fell down an Internet rabbit hole to find things we all wish were an April Fools' joke, but sadly, it's no joke. No, these people are real. Oh yes, they're dead serious. And what they're peddling? Amazing. And scary. But mostly hilarious.