Last week, I had a life changing experience.
Like, the heavens (or whatever) opened up, Michael C. Hall looked down upon me and smiled. Johnny Depp did a roundhouse kick while kittens licked a tattoo of a narwhal onto me as an IV drip of the most perfect Americano poured into my veins.
I had my first bra fitting.
You guys. LIFE CHANGING.
Those of you who have had one, or multiple even, like normal people who don’t put off things like I do, probably just threw your hands up and yelled “I KNOW RIGHT!”. Those of you who are in my boat and have never had one probably just covered your boobs at the thought of having someone fit you for a bra.
I’m here to
suggest demand each and every one of you run, don’t walk, your ladies into a bra fitting RIGHT MEOW.
I was one of those lucky/unlucky ones who got boobs at the age of like 9 and got to figure out how I felt about that at the same time everyone else got to figure out how they felt about that. It was terrible, awkward, and I have never had a very good relationship with my boobs because of it. I resent them for lots of reasons – they made guys ogle me, take me less seriously, and most recently, they didn’t help me feed my baby when I needed them to. They aren’t my favorite, is what I'm saying.