I’m not a mom yet. Soon, I hope to be. Most of the precious women in my life are mothers. I’ve learned so much from all of you. I watch closely (not creepily behind a bush - all the time) and I’m amazed by how you love and nurture your children while coping with the kind of stress that ends up creating Amanda Bynes’ at home YouTube videos.
I want all mothers to know that I salute the mother loving crap out of you. While this list is specific towards mothers of young children, I recognize parenting just gets weirder, not easier, and we’re all so thankful for the moms that pave the way towards Eye-twitch Crazyville.
Here’s my quick shortlist of why you all amaze me.
Moms can hold a screaming toddler by their ankles without breaking stride.
You know that thing kids do when they’re having an epic meltdown and their bodies turn into some kind of wiggly, jelly type substance you can’t really get a handle on? Somehow, with just the slightest turn of hand, you all manage to catch slippery children at the last moment around their ankle, one handed. You complete your shopping list while carrying them screaming upside down and then sign for your receipt at checkout, all without breaking stride.
How you do it, I’ll never know. But I do know this - I salute you.
Moms are high functioning lack of sleep-aholics.
While staying in Pasadena with Jessi to work on HooHas business after a conference, we finally managed to get to bed. At approximately 3 am, I was awoken by her 5 year old son standing next to me.