Motherhood

A 12 Year Old Boys Guide to Relationships

I'm continually amazed by the creative genius of our children.

This book, written by a 12 year old boy, appears to capture the very essence of relationships.

Starts off reasonable enough. 

So what's it about, again?

"A Poop Story." Written by, Poop.

My friend Kim sent me a picture her son brought home from school. It was an art/story telling project and he created such a masterpiece, she just had to share it with me.

Come with me as we analyze this work of art and soak in the creative genius of a child's mind.

Without further adeiu, I present to you, "A Poop Story." Written by, Poop.

(my observations are in red)

 

How to Clear Out an IMAX Theater

We'd traveled to Portland, Oregon for a funeral and had spent the night in a hotel. I was pregnant with my third child and through trial and error, the doctor and I had figured out how to help me not throw up everything I ate. The solution was a B-6 vitamin and half a Unisom every night before bed. The problem was that I'd forgotten my remedy in the car and had been too tired to go get it once I remembered it. I thought I'd be okay. I hadn't thrown up for several days. Maybe this was a chance to see if I could make it without my nightly anti-vomit cocktail.

The next morning, I felt a little queasy, but not too bad. We went to breakfast where I tried to enjoy some bland scrambled eggs and toast. Everyone else had pancakes or omelets and they looked delicious, but I didn't dare risk it.

My husband and two younger brothers decided it would be fun to go to an I-MAX showing of "The Magic of Flight," a movie featuring the daring skills of the Blue Angels. I love air shows and that sounded fun, so we went to the I-MAX theater and got great seats--right in the middle of the theater with a great view of the enormous screen.

The movie was exciting and the aerial tricks were impressive. Unfortunately, as the movie went on, I started salivating -- a sure sign that my pregnancy sickness was kicking into gear. 

I'm Not a Hobo

Amy Bellgardt from Mom Spark just spoke truth into our hearts.

click image to share on Facebook

 

Is it Poop? A HooHas Guide for Parents

Is It Poop? A HooHas Guide for Parents via @hahasforhoohas

Tips for Averting a Nap Time Disaster

There are terrible things that can happen to a mother during the day, but most are easy solutions.

Did your baby crap on you? No biggie! Just brush it off. Literally. Uh oh! Timmy spilled milk on brother's head? Give him a baby wipe to dab it up. And tell him to quit freaking crying.

But there are certain things that will send a mother in a frenzy of desperation.

One of those things is your child falling asleep BEFORE nap time.

For those of you who think I'm crazy, take a peak inside my world.

Top 10 Craziest Things We've Said to Our Crazy Kids

Last week I asked you all to share the craziest things you've caught yourself saying to your kids.

Let me tell you something. YOU DELIVERED. We received so many submissions I can't fit them all in to one post. 

Clearly, we're going to need a Crazy Part Deaux.

Without further adieu ... 

Who put boogers on my wall!?!?! -Skye Ritter

Lessons From a Two Year Old Nut Bag

A couple times a week I have been babysitting my two-year old niece for my brother. Besides making me doubt my ability to handle children of my own, she has taught me an incredible lesson: A life not lived to the fullest is not worth living at all.

Honest Observations

I stumbled upon Distractify and found an incredible post called "30 Kids Who Wrote The Meanest Notes Ever." 

This is one of my favorites. Go here to see the rest and laugh a lot.

 

via

Santa May Not Want These Cookies

Payback's a Fart Joke via @hahasforhoohas

Photo submitted by Stephanie Daley.

My daughter decided to draw a picture of cookies for Santa last Christmas,  as you can see, I need to teach her how to spell cookies!!

Checkmate, Biatch

This parenting thing really kicks my butt sometimes. Just when I think I’ve mastered it, someone decides to grow older and change, which throws me off my game completely.

Ellie is the forerunner for her two younger sisters. She is the one who constantly threatens to drive us crazy on more than one occasion. Daily, in fact. Even as I type this she is running around my living room, spitting in the air. I don't know why and I'm not gonna ask.

But Ellie is smart (aside from the spitting incident). VERY smart. Sometimes we underestimate just how smart she is until it’s too late.

For instance …

Peeing my Pants and Other Things That Terrify Me About Pregnancy

I also don’t like peeing at home on my couch after a good sneeze or during a game of Scrabble, like my sister when she had to excuse herself after I made her laugh too hard. Like a lot of women these days, I chose to wait to have kids after I thoroughly had a chance to wrangle up the degrees I wanted and chase a few dreams. You would think the scariest aspect of this choice would be accidentally stumbling upon a chart online that demonstrated at 30 most of my elderly eggs have died and the few I have left just used their medicaid for a new Hoveround motorized wheelchair.

But you would be wrong. The scariest aspect of waiting until my 30s to have kids is watching most of my friends and family experience the glorious miracle of childbirth, including, but not limited to: the spontaneous and violent growth of sideburns, stretch marks, cankles, as well as constant nausea and peeing with or without a toilet. Thanks to witnessing these freak acts of nature first hand, I’m afraid. Very afraid.

We Can Do It!

You Can Go. At a Price.

Payback's a Fart Joke via @hahasforhoohas

Photo submitted by Brantley A.

Found this note in my suitcase on our last trip from my girls .

Has your little one ever misspelled a word into hilarious gold? Send it our way for a chance to be featured on HooHas. Submit and upload photo HERE

*Submitters may choose to remain anonymous or receive credit for published submissions, just let us know your preference.

Payback's a Fart Joke

Payback's a Fart Joke via @hahasforhoohas

Photo submitted by Sarah.

My son was mad that I told him to quit watching TV and go take a shower and get ready for bed. When I went to pick up the bathroom after the kids had went to sleep I saw this. (I know he didn't spell it wrong, but it was just to funny not to share).

Has your little one ever misspelled a word into hilarious gold? Send it our way for a chance to be featured on HooHas. Submit and upload photo HERE

*Submitters may choose to remain anonymous or receive credit for published submissions, just let us know your preference.

I Wish It Were Halloween Everyday

Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. The pumpkins, the leaves, the spooky chill in the air. 

My son however does not share this love. 

If he could lock himself in the house during this season of ghosts and goblins, he would.

I don't even know when this fear started, but it's there to this day. I recall him being about 4 years old. We were getting ready to trick or treat and before we left, a kid in a ghost mask came to our door for candy. My son saw him through the glass and high-tailed it into the kitchen, hid under the kitchen table, (hate to break it to you son, but tables offer no protection from ghosts) and refused to come out. The following year, my son's father's workplace sponsored a Halloween hay ride/party. We were sitting at a picnic table happily eating our hotdogs and s'mores when a zombie type creature came onto my son's radar. He dove, head first, under the table. In his terror, he didn't notice the rusty nails in his dive path, and managed to catch them with the top of his left eyebrow. He emerged from under the table, bloody and screaming. It took me a minute to realize that the zombie had not caught up with him under the table, that in fact it was the sharp nails sticking out under there.

My love for scary movies during this season has not rubbed off on him either.

Keepin' it Real

Photo submitted by Wendi.

When my daughter finished 1st grade, she came home with a folder she had labeled "fine sht". I was rather perplexed, until I realized it was her completed work file and she meant finished.

Has your little one ever misspelled a word into hilarious gold? Send it our way for a chance to be featured on HooHas. Submit and upload photo HERE

*Submitters may choose to remain anonymous or receive credit for published submissions, just let us know your preference.

Who Doesn't Like a Good Meat-Flinging Every Now and Then?

Who Doesn't Like a Good Meat-Flinging Every Now and Then? via @hahasforhoohas

I entered Fuddruckers, with my two small children, needing a quick bite to eat before nap. My 2 year old has previously been throwing a fit over Lord knows what while my 12 month old smiled and farted rainbows. He's that happy.

Fuddruckers is a great place to eat with families- music is loud enough that boisterous children can't be heard, casual setting and best of all, they give free cookies to kids.

Old Man "Shusher"

Baby Movie Drama

Photo submitted by Alicia.

My 5 year old daughter had just finished watching the Wizard of Oz for the 3rd time that day (probably the 7,568th time in her short 5 year life).  She wanted to watch it "just one more time, puh-lease!!?".  I told her no, it was bedtime.  She stormed off to her room and got ready for bed.  I went in to help her and she was standing in the corner and wouldn't look at me.  I found this note on her bed.

Has your little one ever misspelled a word into hilarious gold? Send it our way for a chance to be featured on HooHasSubmit and upload photo HERE!

*Submitters may choose to remain anonymous or receive credit for published submissions, just let us know your preference.

Oh Sarah, Sarah ...

Photo submitted by Heather.

When my daughter Sarah was three years old, she started practicing writing her name.  She would trace her name two times, then when she had to write it without tracing, she would write S H I T. I thought it was a fluke, so I would have her practice several times a day for several weeks: Sure enough, same thing each time.  Sarah, Sarah, SHIT. It was so funny that I was sad when I had to teach her the correct way. :-)

Has your little one ever misspelled a word into hilarious gold? Send it our way for a chance to be featured on HooHasSubmit and upload photo HERE!

*Submitters may choose to remain anonymous or receive credit for published submissions, just let us know your preference.

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