Read some funny stories from some funny women...

Happy Freaky Friday the 13th, Y'all!

Oh, hi! Hey. Hello there. 

Um, so it's Friday the 13th and we think that this is a really fun and weird holiday to celebrate so in the interest of having too much else to do and not enough time to do it, I went ahead and made this ridiculous video to commemorate a one day change to our Facebook cover photo. 

Bad, Terrible, Horrible Version of O Holy Night

It's such a beautiful time of the year to bundle up and sing Christmas carols all the live long day. Or is it...

Really, what is there to say about something like this that is equal parts glorious and terrible? Nothing. No words left in the whole entire vocabulary of words except, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I wished for a few seconds that you all knew how atrocious my singing voice can be so that you could understood the level of joy and cry-laughing I experience every.single.time. I watch this video. And I've watched it a lot. I'm fairly certain I'm going to have the hiccups for the rest of my life from all the sharp intakes of breath I've done when this thing is rolling.

And no. I don't think that I'm building it up too much. Trust me.

You can download the 'original' song on iTunes. And get yourself better acquainted with Martin Landry(the guy with the mad lip syncing skills) and Trey Tatum, immediately!

Maybe We Could Mastecate Sometime

It's no secret we're fans of fart humor around these parts. This is a totally real and mortifying reality for lots of people who flirt in elevators.

I think it's time we finally admit that a stinging of the nostrils may actually mean true love.



Follow the hilarious Hot Mess Moves and The Brothers Riedell over on YouTube so you don't miss more of this flavor of genius.

Do You Really Think Your Friends Need Another Baby Picture in Their Feed

Now I Just Need to Cut Your Bruise

Coco has an impeccable bedside manner in this week's Convos With My 2-Year-Old. And at the rate she's handling those medical instruments, she'll be flying to the moon in no time. Which, I guess was a thought process that made way more sense in my head than it did when I wrote it down here. Oh well. I'm leavin' it.

Never miss another episode by SUBSCRIBING to the guys' YouTube channel.

(You should probably follow them on Twitter HERE and Like them on Facebook HERE while you're at it.)

A Very Public Lesson in Body Hair

A Very Public Lesson in Body Hair via @hahasforhoohas

Growing up is a very vital part of life.

Luckily for me, I had a great, and thankfully patient, teacher in my mother. 

Like most little girls, I was curious. Always asking the hard-hitting questions, I'm sure I proved to be the most obnoxious of the three of us girls. No matter how  incomprehensible the questions I posed could be, my mom was willing to constantly bestow the answers which I would later come learn were 73% BS to get me to hush up for a few minutes of peace. 

I remember the day I learned about the human body's fascinating ability to grow body hair like it was yesterday. And when I say "I remember it like it was yesterday" I obviously mean my mom has retold this story so many times, especially in front of new people in my life who are interested to know what Jess was like as a young girl, that it was probably brought up yesterday so that's why it's so fresh. 

Frankly, I'd Rather Skip to The Ice Cream

Frankly, I'd Rather Skip to The Ice Cream via @hahasforhoohas

There's a time and place for ice cream and I believe the most important time is instead of getting lost in the wilderness. Let me explain…

When we got the news that we'd be relocating to sunny Los Angeles earlier this year, I was ecstatic. I mean this is the birth place of Pinkberry for Pete's sake! I love me some self-serve froyo joints and we were about to live in the mecca. There's not much else that'll help a girl sleep at night, y'know? 

Unfortunately for me, I fell madly in love and made a human being with a marathoner. Excuse me, an ultra marathoner. Steve would have my head if he knew I don't care enough ever to properly title his beautiful love affair with physical movement. Sorry I'm not sorry, honey. Can you pick up a gallon of milk on your way home from work? We're out.

It gets worse though. His weird obsession with "fitness" and "health" and "being jaw-droppingly awesome" has rubbed off on the human we made that I was talking about, so basically I'm screwed.

Conversations with My Kids: She's Got Dumps Like a Truck

Submitted by our very own Jessi Sanfilippo!

Do your kids say outrageous things? Of course they do.

Submit your conversations HERE for a chance to be featured on HooHas!