6:30 - My alarm goes off.
7:00 - I actually wake up. The typical wake up is a result of shouting from point blank range while a shoe lace or a nickel are being shoved up my nose.
7:01 - Children begin ordering me to prepare them breakfast and asking me to assemble various toys.
7:20 - Pray that the diapers I'm about to change don't contain sneaker poops. There is nothing more discouraging than settling in to change what appears to be a wet diaper and finding an odorless turd, then scrambling to find the wipes that I didn't anticipate needing.
7:45 - I finally get around to toasting a waffle, or if they're really lucky, scrambling some eggs.
7:50 - Sweep up spilled eggs.
7:55 - Lovingly raise my voice to tell the boys to stop fighting over who got what color bowl.
8:30 - Get around to making my breakfast.
8:45 - Break up a fight over a foam finger while breastfeeding.
9:00 - Get around to eating my breakfast.
9:45 - Attend play date thats sole purpose is to make time pass to get to nap time faster.
11:00 - Peel tantrum throwing children off of the floor after they have been told it is time to leave said play date.
11:15 - Feed tear stained children lunch.
11:20 - Scold children for eating leftover breakfast scrambled egg crumbs from off the floor.
11:21 - Have a conversation with myself about why the kids wouldn't eat their breakfast when I served it to them in the morning, but they are willing to eat it when it is cold and stale off of the floor.
11:23 - Try to come up with a good answer when my 5 year old asks me who I'm talking to.
12:00 - Quiet time (aka Mommy's Pinterest/blogging/Facebook/30 Rock/lunch/fold laundry time)
2:30 - Children wake up and immediately demand snacks.
2:35 - Break up fight over who got which color bowl, while sweeping up crushed crackers and breastfeeding.
2:45 - Pretend to be really into playing lego guys. All the while, being told by my son that it's not a sword it's a light saber and that my Anakin Skywalker voice sounds too girly.
3:00 - Read a Christmas story to my toddler.
3:10 - Read the same Christmas story to my toddler. What can I say? The kid loves a good manger scene.
3:30 - Stare at the clock and think, how is it only 3:30?
3:35 - Call my Mother-in-Law and pray that she invites me over for dinner.
3:45 - Decide to do something domestic - unload the dishwasher then load the dishes from the sink, and discover that it is completely full and needs to be run again. Shoot. Me.
4:00 - Get my kids out of their pajamas.
4:30 - Leave for Grandma's house.
5:00 - Release my children on Grandma.
5:30 - Eat and appreciate a meal that I didn't have to prepare.
6:00 - Gladly accept Grandma's offer to bathe my children. After all, they haven't bathed since the last time they were with Grandma.
6:30 - Dry off my babes and pack up.
6:45 - On the ride home, answer several "deep" questions my five year old has while reaching back and grabbing the sippy cup of milk my toddler is dumping on his lap.
7:30 - Tuck my kids in.
7:35 - Direct my toddler back into bed.
7:38 - Remind my toddler not to kick the wall.
7:40 - Get my five year old a glass of water.
7:42 - Deny my five year old another snack.
7:45 - Listen to my five year old try to negotiate his way into staying up longer.
8:00 - Relish in silence.
8:10pm to 7:00am - On call in case of emergency puking, wet farts, nightmares, bed wetting, accidentally falling out of bed, or life threatening thirst.